Okay, so it all started out with an early Saturday morning AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA. The wife and I decided to go to this local Pizza Place called Selma’s Pizzeria & Tap Room in Rancho Santa Margarita.
We were seated and got the beer/wine menu, I checked it out and could hear an angel chorus going Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. No but seriously, they had a 50+ beer assortment. I love beer!
My thoughts: Quick! Look for something that reminds you of Sweden! *scans through the list* Denmark? DENMARK? Denmark is the closest they have to Sweden? …sure whatever, I will drink the Dane’s beer… and I will enjoy it!
Me: *points to strange supposedly Danish beer* “One Mikkeler Beer Geek Brunch please”
Server: “Alrighty”
*get beer*
Me: *notices the server pouring it out of a really tall bottle (what’s with those Danes) in a Cognac glass*
*AROMA!*
Me: Whoah, *sniff sniff* what is that aroma? It smells like, yum!
*swirl swirl swirl* Mmmm, smell this hon!
My wife: Oh wow!
Me: *drink drink* … Oh, it’s like a thousand cute critters just bunny hopped across my tongue and gave me a smooch on the forehead.
Me: Wow, that’s a good beer!
I have a little bit of conversation, and I examine the bottle of pure ambrosia;
Me holding the one beer worth it's weight in gold
“This imperial Oatmeal stout is brewed with one of the world’s most expensive coffees, made from droppings of weasel like civet cats. The fussy Southeast Asian animals Enzymes in their digestive system help to break down the bean. Workers collect the bean-containing droppings for Civet or Weasel Coffee. The exceedingly rare Civet Coffee has a strong taste and an even stronger aroma.
… OMG I JUST DRANK POOP BEER AND I LOVED IT!
I take a quick glance at the beer menu for the price tag;
$20.00
This is the last time (and tastiest time) you screwed me over Denmark.
Now, I’m not politically correct by blaming the Danish, when it’s actually printed on the label that it’s brewed in Norway. Now, as a Swede I have a grudge with both of you. I drank your weasel crap, and I liked it. Now please Norway, send me some more.
No, I mean it; This was the best beer I’ve ever consumed!
For you guys who think that Budweiser, Coors, Miller, Fat Tire or Samuel Adams is the ultimate beer in the world, listen to these words;
“I have literally consumed beer made with feline/weasel feces, and it still tasted better than your beer.”
-Andreas Victorsson, March 26 2011
Norway, I don’t know whether to hate you or love you right now; I guess we’re back to square one.